2023 has been a pivotal year for me, one that will continue to shape me in 2024. With its fair share of ups and downs, moments of introspection, both personal failures and successes, the growing pains have literally been felt this year…
Inner work Link to heading
The year got off to a rocky start after a tumultuous work incident where I worked in 12-hour shifts almost everyday between Dec 19-30. Recognizing the looming burnout, I had to hit the emergency brakes and take a much-needed vacation to recalibrate.
As life has a tendency to resume its rhythm quickly I soon found myself engrossed in work and my normal activities involving dance and training again, but as usual I’ve also tried some different things throughout the year. While activities like a circus acrobatics course, attending a tap dance festival, and learning Shaolin wushu are fun and physically engaging, I’ve notably been more drawn to things related to inner work. Amongst others, I’ve explored meditating more, water fasting for 60-70 hours, shifting to more analogue journaling again, and therapy. I’ve also made a conscious effort to reach out more to acquaintances, and hopefully some of these will blossom into meaningful friendships.
Breaking back Link to heading
The largest shifts occurred in June and October. Early in the summer, a trampoline session at my parents’ place took an unexpected turn when I was practicing flips. I made a poor decision and made a bad attempt at bailing and landed badly and broke my back. Three fractures across different vertebrae. For two weeks, my mobility was severely limited and being dozed in morphine still didn’t give me more than three hours of consecutive sleep.
The recovery process was a very interesting, especially since I didn’t follow my doctor’s advice fully (or rather, I was reading between the lines). Getting back to most of my normal activities went surprisingly fast and through very deliberate actions and planning. Perhaps I’ll write about it in the future.
Resignation Link to heading
Two months later, after spending the last few days dancing at a camp very carefully and mindfully, I returned from sick leave and resumed work. Unbeknownst to everyone except my boss, my time with the company was drawing to a close. A month after my return I announced my resignation. At the start of October I bid farewell to a workplace where I’ve been for 6 years.
The short resignation period was due to having accumulated a significant number of vacation days — 54 days in total — over the years. I actually delayed my resignation as to be a bit less disruptive for everyone and give a bit longer runway. The last days were certainly bittersweet, and the support from my colleagues was at times overwhelming. I’m blessed to have worked with some truly fantastic and brilliant people!
Up next Link to heading
So where were I headed next? Nowhere.
I decided to take a year off from work to explore life a bit differently — adopting a different pace, mindset and commitments.
The long term goal of the sabbatical is to figure out what I’m going to do next, something that aligns with my values, and certainly is a net positive for the world. In the mean time, I’m turning back to my master thesis, something which I never managed to wrap up, even after having done the majority of the work.
As we’re heading into the year of the dragon, I am reworking my thesis, struggling with unstructured days, but also allowing some more time for leisure and travels. While this post captures some highlights of 2023, there’s much more beneath the surface. Perhaps, in the future, I’ll delve into some of those in detail. Looking ahead, I’m both nervous and excited for what’s to come next year. I had to grow some backbone this year and next year will require more of it, both literally and metaphorically ;)